The content of the article:
- Auto horoscope from 4 to 10 June
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Cancer
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fishes
Summer is on the calendar, spring is on the roads - well, it happens, and should we worry about little things? Just think, dirt and slush - you will not surprise drivers with such nonsense. In general, the stars guarantee that travel on these June days will be fun. The main thing is to stay away from landfills - for some unknown reason, the tracks are overloaded with garbage trucks and traffic jams stretch for tens of kilometers. Maybe the people decided to get rid of the trash, or maybe the authorities have invented something. And then the guys rolled out on the cranes - the crane operators celebrate their professional holiday. They would have taken it, but hooked the guard houses and threw it somewhere in the bushes - joy for the traffic cops and a respite for the people.
Auto horoscope from 4 to 10 June
Aries
Aries, double your driving pleasure - invite a nice passenger into the cabin. Just make sure that your fellow traveler does not chat about the weather and politics. Ideally, take some summer resident with you - in a week you will become a genius of gardening, you look, and you will want to buy a house, and the trunk will be in use (either bring potatoes, or deliver seedlings). If you meet bipeds in crocodile suits at the crossings, do not honk or wave your hands indignantly. These are not Genes from the cartoon, but fans of a humorous magazine. The first issue of the Krokodil magazine was published 96 years ago. Alas, now it is not in demand, because there are already enough reasons for laughter - it is enough to leave the garage and get stuck in a traffic jam.
Taurus
Taurus, iron horses grow wiser, drivers become wise, but pedestrians are doing it is not clear what. It seems that all the two-legged have become color blind. The stars are afraid to talk about traffic cops, because the patrol guys have their own mission: to bring the drivers to a nervous breakdown. But enough of the sadness, it's time to announce the good news. In these June days, guys with brooms are rushing along the roads - there, all the birches have already been plucked. There is nothing strange in this phenomenon - on summer Tuesday people celebrate the birthday of Barbara Brylsky, and remember shots from "The Irony of Fate". Taxi into the woods and break the green branches - and the smell in the cabin will improve, and there will be a reason to go to the bathhouse.
Twins
The twins, the headlights are in place, the wheels are in order, the wipers are normal - in general, life is good, and on these summer days you can ride at your own pleasure. That's how it is, but if only to steer out of the traffic jam first - the congestions stretch for several kilometers, probably some reckless driver or a newcomer messed up again. But it is more expensive to scold stupid drivers - they bought the rights, the car was donated, and why these poor fellows get behind the wheel is not clear. But you are driving geniuses and don't bother with such nonsense at all. However, pay attention to the strange traffic cops - they stand with boxes in their hands and do not even fine violators. The patrol guys are playing - Tetris has a birthday this June Wednesday.
Cancer
Cancers, stars conducted a survey among pedestrians - 80 percent of bipeds are afraid to cross the road. Although the talking traffic lights were installed, the zebras were updated - walk here and there all day. Well, let them roam the sidewalks, it's better for us - the chauffeur brothers dream of only cars on the roads. During this period, the horse will pull on suburban roads - well, but what: excellent cross-country ability, a full tank of gasoline and you can race without wasting time on refueling. By the way, you will drive past a grove, drop in for rose hips - on the way back, hand them over to the traffic cops. People celebrate the day "Free tree", and you need to grab a rose hip so that it calms your nerves - this will not hurt the patrol guys.
A lion
Lions, in these June days, the drivers of your sign should be careful - the traffic cops are not indifferent to you, they probably found out that you stop in front of the voting bipeds and sometimes take money from them. The stars won't tell anyone, don't worry - bomb your health, especially since your curious iron horse loves to listen to road stories. But don't bring passengers dressed in chain mail - these guys are celebrating the birthday of Alexander Nevsky. They will also arrange an ice battle right in the cabin, then they get hungry and eat stocks of cookies, buns and sandwiches. On the other hand, with such passengers, not a single DPS nickname is terrible - in general, decide for yourself.
Virgo
Virgos, some love to ride in an elevator, someone cannot imagine life without planes, but if you only want to hold on to the wheel - there are also motorists among the stars, so they understand you in heaven. It would be nice to get rid of the traffic cops, in general it would be great - but, alas, there is nowhere without them, because someone also needs to take care of the traffic order (well, about our wallets). By the way, do not be nervous when you meet guys with hats in their hands - these are not beggars at all. Everyone is celebrating Crowdfunding Day and raising money for something very important. In Russian, the name of the holiday is translated as "with the world on a string." Well, it's a good thing, and it's common among drivers - you yourself have shared gasoline how many times.
Scales
Libra, why don't they give out rights at a young age? Kids grab everything on the fly, and it's not a problem for them to learn the rules - they are dashingly dissected on bicycles, rollerblades and scooters. Well, at least there are no restrictions on old age - older drivers will give odds to young reckless drivers and upstarts. In general, the stars wanted to talk about old women - the spring was cool, and summer residents rushed to the plots. Give the grannies a ride before they duel at the bus stops, figuring out who has the cooler seedlings and who has the more convenient rake. And do not be surprised that every pensioner has knitting needles and balls in her hands - they celebrate International Knitting Day in public. Maybe the seat covers will be made or the steering wheel will be decorated - you, most importantly, throw the topic.
Scorpion
Scorpions, stars do not recognize your typewriter in makeup - has the horse washed or repainted, or is it just shining with pleasure, looking forward to a long trip? In general, turn the steering wheel and head for the village. Rural tracks these June days are quite suitable for racing - no mud, no traffic jams, no evil traffic cops. True, pedestrians are confused - either a woman with an empty bucket, or a man with a full canister, or gopniks offering a parking space. Although, everything is clear here: the villagers celebrate the day of the Basilisk monster and hang out idly, because according to legend, nothing can be done. If only the patrol guys do not know about this holiday, otherwise they will dress up in costumes of monsters and start scaring the people.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, the owners of SUVs sly smile, the drivers of the Zhiguli bashfully hide their eyes, and the drivers behind the wheel of the buses frown and scold the weather forecasters and politicians. But you don't care about anything: an iron horse on its own wave and rushes along the roads, delighting the owner and passengers. Pedestrians generally walk with blissful smirks - of course, because they celebrate the Levon Konoplyanik national holiday and are ready to scatter cannabis seeds both on the sidewalks and on zebras. There will be a harvest, and the authorities will have more work. But do not be distracted, otherwise they will sow grass in your trunk - explain later that you are not to blame, and your four-wheeled friend loves gasoline, not a green delicacy with a strange aroma.
Capricorn
Capricorns, train, you can stand in a traffic jam, have a snack, you can move on the way - the usual mode of all drivers, but these June days everything will be different. Just one big traffic jam - you can't go back and forward in any way, and turning to the right or left is punishable by a fine. The stars are advised to leave the horse in the stall and transfer to public transport.But what a savings and money and nerves, except that a harmful conductor gets caught and does not want to take a trifle, but these are details - maybe she portrays Baba Yaga and recalls the role of Tatiana Peltzer. Fans of the actress celebrate her birthday - she was a wonderful actress, and many drivers are still reviewing "After a Rain on Thursday".
Aquarius
Aquarians, the roads in these June days will be smooth and comfortable, drivers - kind and polite, traffic cops - silent and calm. But if you have to discuss with young pedestrians, be careful - the guys celebrate the birthday of Yuri Vyazemsky and are probably heading to the "Clever and Clever" program. And arguing with geniuses is more expensive for yourself - it's better to lock yourself in the garage and talk to a typewriter for your life. Although your iron horse does not want to stand in a stall, but wants to graze in someone else's dacha. So give a lift to the old ladies you know - just do not stay on their site, otherwise they will be harnessed to the weeding, and the four-wheeled friend will run away to the neighbor (he has been looking at your wheelbarrow for a long time).
Fishes
Pisces, what are cars made of? From the clutches, the cooling system, from the fuses and vacuum amplifiers, the rhyme came out, but the stars had a different purpose. No driver knows exactly about the inner world of the car - yes, yes, do not argue, because there is probably a part under the hood that you have never heard of. In general - do not self-medicate, that is, self-repair, but take the wheelbarrow to the workshop. Moreover, you have enough things to do in the garage, and you can travel at the end of the week. But do not be alarmed at the sight of traffic cops in the costumes of Umka or the Bremen Town Musicians. The patrolmen are celebrating the foundation day of the Soyuzmultfilm studio - let the guys frolic, otherwise they are completely worn out.
Cool auto jokes:
